So Nice So Smart
by valyrian23
Summary: They say some of the greatest things that happen to us are the things we didn't plan for. Whoever said that was right, I had no idea those few steps I took started a chain of events that led me to be at the right place at the right time. The only problem with this is the right place and the right time may happen, the rest is a gamble you have to be willing to take.
1. Indifferent

Sometimes people are afraid of falling in **love** , because it sometimes comes in a way we never expected.

There was something awfully wonderful about this morning, I just couldn't place what it was. it was a Saturday morning, there was nothing particularly special about today I told myself. Groaning, I swung my legs out from under my sheets and placed them flat on the cold floor. None of my roommates were up yet, I tended to wake up early than the rest.

I made my way out of the dungeons and down to the hall, I was eager to stuff my face with food. Right away I grabbed as much bacon as I could and scooped some eggs onto my plate. I was looking for the orange juice when I heard someone call my name.

"Em!"

I groaned and desperately wished I had waited for my roommates. The voice was making his way towards me, I knew exactly who it was and had no intention of acknowledging him. Taking another bite of my eggs I kept my gaze ahead and caught sight of the Gryffindor table, Potter, Black, Pet were there but where was…

"Em didn't you hear me calling you? Come love we're late."

Nikolaus Carrow was every girl's dream well, almost every girl.

"I am not your love and I am not going with you anywhere! And only my friends may call me Em, it's Emery to you." yanking my hand from his. Nik was as I said every girl's dream, he had smooth black hair and eyes girls have described like amber, was on the Quidditch team with me but, he was an Arsch. I had no interest in him and he had no interest in me, he _wanted_ me.

Thankfully Narcissa had risen and was striding her way to the table now. Unfortunately, that also meant Lucius wouldn't be too far behind, he followed her around like a puppy dog. He was almost as bad as Potter was with Evans. Carrow, seeing his friend coming took this as an opportunity to sit right next to me.

"Emery, why do you deny yourself me? You know how joyous our families would be if we joined together." I scrunched my nose up in disgust and turned to greet Narcissa.

"you're up early"

She sat down and helped herself to a light plate, she giggled as she looked up and saw the scowl on my face. "you should be grateful I'm up early"

I rolled my eyes as Thackary had joined us, the three boys fell easily into a conversation about Quidditch. I looked at Narcissa and she picked up her plate as the same time as me and we swiftly made our way out of the great hall. I hoped Carrow didn't follow I really wanted a peaceful Saturday. We sat outside the doorway to the great hall and finished our breakfast, the three fools walked right past us and didn't even notice. It was due to this fact I volunteered to take our plates back. I promised to meet Narcissa back in the common room and walked into the hall, it was mostly Ravenclaws and Gryffindors at breakfast. I assume Hufflepuff and my own house liked to sleep in on the weekends, I left the plates on the table and hurried out of the hall again.

Leave it to me to be careless and run right into someone.

"oh, I'm terribly sorry I wasn't looking where I was going. Are you alr-" I cut myself off it was Remus I had knocked over, he looked very worn down. He waved a hand at me as if to say it's fine but stumbled. I caught him and put his arm over my shoulder, he must have been ill he actually let me carry his weight.

"ge jam" I couldn't quite understand what he said.

"oh, Remus let's get you to the nurse" he shook his head as if to say no, he collected himself and managed to stand up on his own.

"I'm quite alright miss Dietrich, I apologize for that display."

I blushed slightly at the use of mt last name "no you're alright I ran into you throwing you completely off balance." I lied I know he's ill I'm not stupid but, I wouldn't want anyone to pity me and Remus seemed like a man of pride.

"I'll be on my way, best not leave James and Sirius alone with no supervision they" he stopped abruptly looking at my house robes. He put some distance between us, of course Remus was no different he assumed all Slytherin were bad. I thought he might not be one to judge too quickly but I was wrong.

"Na Sicher…" I said to myself

"well then as I can see you're not too thrown to judge me by the color of my house I'll leave you then. Since apparently, I might hex you or do something awful such as hold you up as you lost your balance. If you'll excuse me, I have to go be böse elsewhere. "

Turning on my heel and leaving the corridor, I didn't even allow him the chance to rebuttal and he wouldn't because Gryffindors could be arrogant and I'm beginning to think it's contagious.

I made my way to the library, there was some new books I wanted to check out I haven't had time to read and I hadn't found time in the week. I quickly found my selections brought them up to the desk to check out. I had to hurry back to the dorms to change into my practice clothes, I knew everyone would notice if I were late, being the only girl tends to draw attention. Today could have been a relaxing day but, Nott just had to schedule a practice even though Gryffindor clearly had the assigned booking for the pitch.

I wasn't even in the pitch yet and I could hear there was clearly a fight brewing.

"-bloody can't read Nott the sign up says Gryffindor you prat!"

Sometimes I think Nott and Potter fancy each other, they love to rile each other up. One can't hate another's house that much and my mother always said there is a fine line between love and hate. Potter and Nott have danced all over that line if you ask me. I was so lost in thought I didn't notice Regulus come up beside me. Regulus and I hardly ever bothered to argue in these events, it accomplished nothing, and it was rather hilarious the faces boys make when they're mad. Fifteen minutes had passed and finally I had enough.

"ALRIGHT THAT IS ENOUGH! Nott let's go! If we bring the coach down he will tell us it's Gryffindors spot anyways, Thackary put your Verdammt shirt on you are not going to fight Sirius like that, Carrow If you even dare utter a word about how you like it when I get " _fiery"_ I will hex you into oblivion. Let's head back now."

I picked up my broom and turned to leave as I turned though, I caught Sirius say to Nott "yes, I see you're led by women who cave easily" one moment I was right behind Regulus and the next I was looking Sirius right in the eye.

"no, I did not cave because I am a woman and weaker. I choose to walk away from a pointless argument and not waste not another second of this day off when we don't have a need for practice, obviously your team desperately needs it."

Everyone on the team was sore at me for letting Gryffindor take the pitch but, it was theirs to take in the first place at least this way Carrow won't bother me, they're all too busy sulking. I saw a shadow fall across me and turned to see the source.

"promise to meet back in the dungeons eh? Lies!" Narcissa could be very dramatic at times but she'd get over it. I moved my bag so that she could sit down.

"honestly Em, I don't know how you can stand to read on a perfectly good day like this?" her eyes scanning the room most likely for a gentleman to keep her distracted.

Clearing my throat "what else would be better to do on a day like today?" I had my prefect duties later but, that didn't count for anything to her.

She scrunched up her face in thought for a moment "ah! You could go on a date with Thackary the poor thing follows you around like a puppy. I could do your hair! Do you have any idea how your hair is the envy of almost every girl at Hogwarts?"

Actually, I had no idea, there was nothing wonderful about my hair, I had chocolate colored hair that went to my midriff. Some say it's the combination of my eyes and hair, which were only bluish grey. I was plain as far as I knew of, I wouldn't be the first girl with these features and I wouldn't be the last. Shaking my head at her words I got up to go back to the common room with her. When we got in the first thing we saw was blonde hair fly at us, Rosaline our friend had enveloped me in a bone crushing hug.

"oh thank goodness you're alright!"

I pulled away from her "why wouldn't I be alright?"

Narcissa suddenly seem to gasp in surprise. "oh! Yes, that's what I forgot that Marauder was on you this morning, what was he doing?" she asked incredulously.

They were afraid for me because of that? "oh, we ran into each other no biggie." I went to sit on the sofa as they continued to stare at me in horror. I knew this wouldn't be the end of it so, I made myself comfortable.

"He just ran into you? He didn't try to hex you or prank you? I think you should get yourself checked out just in case." I rolled my eyes in response.

"Remus is harmless perhaps kinder than the others but, still judgmental. Overall though he's no one I need to worry about."

 **Right well there is the first chapter! I'm going to start working on the second one share with me some thoughts ideas suggestions or questions. I do not own anything either the HP world belongs to Jk Rowling**


	2. Bad Moon

_I see a bad moon a-rising_ _  
_ _I see trouble on the way_ _  
_ _I see earthquakes and lightnin'_ _  
_ _I see bad times today- Bad Moon Rising Credence Clearwater_

I could see them floating in the sky twisting in agony. I couldn't do anything but scream, I screamed for them but, nothing happened. They twisted and flailed around like skeletons forced to do a dance, they were skeletons, lifeless. I wanted to hold my mom I wanted her arms around me I couldn't reach her though, and suddenly as if they heard me, they came crashing down on me. Their arms were all over me but, they felt stiff heavy… dead. They kept pulling at me and I couldn't break free.

"EMERY!" I felt a red pain across my face and suddenly I was in my room, Narcissa was holding my wrists, Ava was the one to slap me, I couldn't see Rosaline. She must have stayed asleep or pretended to not hear my screams. I felt wet hot tears escape my eyes running down my face, it was Ava who pulled me to her chest and ran her hand down my back to soothe me. She whispered soothing words but, I couldn't hear them I kept hearing my screams in my dream, calling for my mom and dad.

After I settled down and Ava deemed me well enough to get back to her bed and sleep, I threw the covers off of me and crawled out of bed. There would be no going back to sleep after this, I couldn't shake the image of my mom and dad like that…

I threw on my running clothes and slipped my feet into my shoes, I made the path outside the castle. It was 6:30 according to my watch. I was an excellent student they wouldn't mind me going for a run an hour earlier than usual. As soon as my feet hit the grass everything disappeared my parents, school, curfew, and stress. I must have been running for an hour? The sun was beginning to rise, and I could see other runners. I'd go back inside soon, I didn't like to run around… boys.

I didn't realize I was crying until I slowed down my pace, embarrassed I quickly laid on the grass. Anyone running by would think I was in my cool down phase and leave me be. I wiped my tears and continued to sniffle looking up at the best thing about going for runs was hardly anyone bothered you, I think in a sense we're all looking for an escape and leave each other alone because we all know it. The trek back to the castle was peaceful I had shed my tears and now I could be okay again, the girls never asked me about my dreams. They woke me up and comforted me but, they would pretend it never happened after perhaps, they thought I was embarrassed, or it would only upset me further. Either way I didn't care, it wasn't a big deal to me. I waved to the squid on my way up to the dorms the girls weren't there most likely at breakfast before class it was midweek, and I hadn't started my potions paper due on Friday. Staring at myself in the mirror I looked so tired, there was bags under my eyes and my complexion was that of porcelain. Hurriedly I put on makeup I grabbed my necklace my mother gave me and tossed it in a pocket in my bag and made my way upstairs to fill up on breakfast before class.

I didn't eat when I arrived the sound of food was enough to make my stomach turn, I quickly exited the great hall and headed to potions. I was sure the girls would worry but, they would see me in potions soon. Potions was one of my least favorite subjects mostly because my skills were less than proficient. Despite this I had one of the highest grades in the class, I put in time and effort and had an excellent tutor. The room was not empty when I arrived sitting in the corner was the four Marauders, they stopped talking once they saw me but, I swear they were whispering words of encouragement to Remus?

Finding a seat near the front I sat down and began unpacking my things. It wasn't until I reached for my parchment and quill did, I notice I was bleeding. My sleeve had moved back enough for me to see my arm, and it was covered in scratches I jumped out of my seat and looked at my arm. There were scratches all over me there was no blood, that must have been my imagination. I pulled my robes down and covered any trace of the marks, I must have scratched myself in my sleep. In my little scare attack, I didn't realize I knocked over my Rucksack in the process I gathered my things hastily as I remembered I was not alone. My quill was the only thing missing now… where did it-

"I believe you dropped this." I looked up and Remus held my quill and something shiny in his hand. I took my quill and said a quick thank you. He caught up to me quickly though "I thought I might apologize to you."

He held his fist out but, I interrupted him "for what Remus?" he must have confused me for someone else, and I was aware of the eyes pretending not to watch us. He seemed to sway on his feet and all three boys almost sprung into action but, he quickly waved them off.

"when you helped me a few days ago, you were nothing but kind and yet I judged you. I apologize for that."

Remus had green eyes, they were not the "emerald" people claimed to have but the sea green that you could get lost in if you let yourself. He had areas that looked like blue and green like the mixing of the sea. From what little I knew he was the shy one of their group and the kindest. I could see scars all along his face, you could hardly see them from another foot away, but our faces were rather close. He must have sensed this and moved away slightly.

Letting go of the breath I didn't know I was holding "Remus it's alright. I know Slytherin has a reputation and a long-standing war against Gryffindor. I just don't care to be judged based on looks or house, I'm much more than that as much as you are." In that entire apology and almost narrative I forgot there was three other people in the room.

My cheeks were blushing slightly, and I cleared my throat about to whisper a thank you when I heard a rather arrogant voice.

"well, we're very close to my girlfriend aren't we Lupin?" the other Marauders were up in a flash ready to defend Lupin. I got up out of my seat and came between the two, Remus wouldn't fight Nik, he was a good student.

I pulled on Nik's robes Remus was a good man but, the same could not be said of Nik. "I'm sorry." I said to the four but, mostly Remus. I felt my waist pulled and suddenly Carrow's lips were meshed to mine. It took less than a few seconds to bring my knee up and hit him right in the groin, as soon as he bent over my fist connected with his jaw.

"I am not your _love_ , your girlfriend anything! And the next time you touch any part of me without permission the limb you used will be removed!" the room was no longer empty as other Gryffindors and Slytherins were piling in trying to ignore the spectacle. I left him on the floor and went to my desk striding past the Marauders who had reached for their wands.

Ava came in and hurried over to me "where were you at breakfast? We wer- what happened to Nik?" She would walk past him and not notice him. I sighed "he kissed me." I said casually. She looked over at him on the ground in obvious pain. "dear, if all men end up like that after a kiss with you, I'm afraid that might be the last kiss." We both laughed unaware of the eyes that were watching me.

It was in Care of magical creatures that I realized my necklace was missing. I tore through my entire bag looking for it, I love my necklace it was my mothers and a family heirloom. I wanted to leave class to go search the entire room for it. I put it in one of the small pockets in my bag, it couldn't have fallen out, unless it fell out in Potions! But, Slughorn would have locked the class up for the day by now. Care of Magical creatures is my last class and today we held it later for some goffer things that only come out at night. I can't believe I lost it, this was my best subject and I didn't write a single note out of worry. It's pure silver what if someone stole it? It has the family crest on it though, someone's bound to notice that.

I hurried up the steps to get to the Potions room and sure enough it was locked. Alohomora didn't even work on it, I just wanted to look for my necklace. Defeated I went down to the great hall for dinner, Narcissa scooted over so I could sit. I grabbed a few pieces of chicken off a plate that was floating by and made myself a bowl of Caesar salad. Listening to Narcissa's day, she acted like she didn't like the attention Lucius gave her, but she did. She secretly feels the same but, she's worried it's all some game she has no way of telling whether he is sincere. To be honest though she likes the "chase" she calls it.

I was in the library finishing up an essay when I heard some giggling, it was almost nine who would be in here right now? I went over to the bookcases and behind them was either regulus or Sirius with some Ravenclaw, I knew that black hair from anywhere, I just couldn't see their face. I left them to continue their little makeout session twenty minutes later Sirius Black emerged. He looked pleased with himself, I made no acknowledgement at his presence and I don't even think he saw me. I heard the library door open and he strolled behind another book shelf, probably to kiss another girl. Grunting in disgust I picked up my bag and made my way to leave I had only a few paragraphs left to finish my essay I could do it in the dorm. I just wanted tomorrow to be here already I wanted my necklace back. Even as we all got ready for bed my mind was still on my necklace and if it would be there tomorrow, ignoring the gossip of today's events I closed my eyes and drifted asleep.

Flying out of the dungeon and to the great hall I grabbed four pieces of toast and a plate of bacon and ran towards Potions. As luck would have it my necklace was not there, and it was nowhere in the classroom I asked professor Slughorn if anyone turned it and no one had yet. I sat in the hallway eating my bacon sandwiches until I had to go to my first class. When I went to Transfiguration, I forgot this was the one class I knew not one Slytherin, I came from a known wealthy pureblood family but, we weren't purist freaks like some Slytherin families. That's why mom and dad kept a small circle of friends.

We shared this class with Gryffindor I normally sit alone in this class but today a hand grabbed me and yanked me into the seat. "sit please! I beg you." A small desperate voice said I yanked my arm back "wha-"Lily Evans. Potter and his trio entered, he scanned the entire room and I understood. He walked past our desks and gave a questioning look to Lily.

She shrugged her shoulders "better luck next time." She watched him pass and turned to me, finally realizing who she grabbed. She turned slightly pink "oh, I apologize I saw you were a girl and I didn't…" she lost her wording, she didn't know how to ask me to move now that Potter had left.

"yes, I'm Slytherin you grabbed me in desperation and you'd like me to leave now." I picked up my bag and her hand touched my shoulder. "no! I thought you might not want to sit not with me because I'm a…" she let it hang in the air. It took me a moment to comprehend what she was getting at. I sat down immediately and extended my hand "my name is Emery Erasabeth Dietrich, I could care less about family names, blood, or social status it's a pleasure to meet you Lily Evans." She smiled brightly at this and extended her hand, for that moment we were unaware of the glares being sent our way. I could almost understand what Potter saw in her, she had a dazzling smile, and a spunk about her.

Mcgonagall had arrived and brought us to attention. "Today you will be taking the paper airplanes I have provided and transfiguring them into hummingbirds. Like so 1…2… 3… Untancio" where the paper airplane laid was now a hummingbird tiny and flapping about. It was now our turn to practice, I was so excited hummingbirds are my favorite they're so gentle and graceful. It took us maybe twenty minutes to master the spell, I held my hand out to the small bird. I became aware of Lily watching me "yes?" I prodded.

She shook her head, "I'm sorry it's just odd seeing someone like this."

I understood what she meant "you mean a Slytherin?" she blushed in response

I can understand why she assumes we have no gentle side we don't really show it. "we're not made of stone you know, if we could push aside house differences and know one another we just might accomplish more greatness together than goodness separately." Lily smiled at this and we continued to converse back and forth until the class was over.

"no, I'm from Germany but, came here after my parents passed away it was their wish I go to Hogwarts. So, here I am, and I get along with most people in Slytherin I have quite a few friends in Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff won't speak to me and I suppose you'd be my first friend in Gryffindor." I added nervously, I wasn't one to get nervous but, making friends wasn't something I was famous for. There was a questioning tone in my voice I wasn't sure if she picked it up. It wouldn't kill me if Lily Evans didn't want to be my friend but, it would be nice. Looping her arm through mine "yes, you're my first friend from Slytherin."


	3. Blood

_Prejudices are the chains forged by ignorance to keep men apart_

 _-Countess of Blessington_

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"so, you're not sitting with your new little Mudblood friend are you Emery?" Carrow was taunting.

"do not call her that." I said through clenched teeth.

He sneered at me "why? is someone embarrassed about their new little Mudblood friends? Embarrassed no other Slytherin will sit with you in that class?" Out of the corner of my eye I could see people stop eating to listen in.

"you forget your place Carrow. Pureblood you may be but my fortune my title and place is higher than yours. I've made my stance on blood clear I don't care about your name, title or wealth. When I turn eighteen, I will toss my hag of an aunt out on the streets and I can pull whatever wealth your family sits upon right out from under them." Everyone had turned to listen to our conversation." I'll make it very simple for all of you, friends and those listening if you don't like my stance on blood and purity that's fine. I will not be swayed bullied or disregarded. If I catch you taunting my new friend well, none of us are in Slytherin by mistake I'll say that."

With that said I looked to my friends and around the Slytherin table to see if I was understood. At that I grabbed my bag and strode over to Gryffindor table I saw people watching me as I made my way up to Lily Evans and her friends. She looked surprised to see me as dinner had just started, and I told her I'd meet her after. Gryffindors looked at me from all around the table, not bothering to pretend to be busy or act like they weren't listening.

Lily's friends looked at me in distrust and looked to Lily for guidance. She greeted me with a smile, and I did my best to smile back and appear friendly "is it alright if I sit?" she didn't hesitate to scoot over, and her friends did too but slower. I sat down and the Gryffindors to my left had picked up their plates and moved all the way down to the table. It seems prejudice is not only a Slytherin trait.

I could feel everyone watching still Lily must have sensed this too. "so, did you finish up that potions paper and did you find your necklace ever?"

I shook my head in response "I finished the paper, I'm not sure how well it turned out my tutor was sick, and Regulus couldn't help me out. I talked to Slughorn but, no one has turned in my necklace yet." I smiled sadly, her friends weren't sure what to make of us I'm sure. I know one is Mary she's shy, the other is Elizabeth… no Marlene, yes that's Marlene. She's on the Quidditch team very outgoing, and popular with the boys.

It was Mary who surprised me by speaking though "you could try a tracing spell? Even though you don't have it, it does belong to you and if it's a strong enough connection it should work."

Her ears turned slightly pink and she squirmed in her seat as I looked her thoughtfully. "really? I didn't know I could do a spell without the locket with me?"

Marlene laughed at this "aren't you supposed to know all the spells and secret stuff none of us have even heard of yet?"

I was going to answer her when they all stopped laughing and stared behind me, I turned in my seat and Ava and Rosaline stood there. "may we sit?" I smiled and pat the spots to my left.

I knew Narcissa couldn't come, she would be my friend but, her family was too strict. I didn't blame her I know what the Black family was capable of. It was awkward for a bit but by the end we found ourselves laughing so hard tears began to spill down our faces. My stomach was beginning to hurt so much I thought it would never stop.

I was sure everyone was staring at us but, I could care less. Marlene and Rosaline were talking about boys while Ava and Mary were probably exchanging some new random information not useless nor useful at the moment.

Lily and myself were discussing James Potter though, I didn't think she'd talk to me about this honestly, we aren't best friends. "I don't understand James and I know this is awkward to be talking with you but, you aren't in Gryffindor and I was hoping for an outside opinion."

Taking one last gulp of juice and wiping my mouth "I know very little of James honestly, however he does seem to have a certain amount of maturity perhaps, if you sat him down and explained to him your dislike of his jokes and cruelness he might listen. We are reasonable young women, and should you desire to be with James" I held my hand up for her to let me finish "and if he desires to be with you, he will stop this nonsense and clean his act up. If not, you at least were the mature one, I can't say whether he truly cares for you, but if you speak with him you should receive your answer."

She didn't look convinced but, hopefully this helped her. She brightened up "you're right I'm just going to have to speak with him, I'm sorry I know this seems personal but, I just can't get an unbiased response from anyone."

I waved her off "it's no big deal, I don't blame you, guys can be… confusing and weird." She nodded in agreement.

We bid each other goodnight and headed down to the dungeons. As I washed my face, I realized I forgot to ask Mary about that spell, hopefully I'd get a chance tomorrow.

It was Friday night, so all the girl's emerald curtains were thrown back and were giggling when I came in.

Ava was braiding Rosaline's hair "okay, so you're telling me Lucius's hair is naturally silver?" Ava asked skeptically. Narcissa nodded "I guess so? It's a family thing, I hope our children have it." She said dreamily. Rosaline and ava made faces at each other that conveyed their disgust.

"oh, please as if you two don't get all bubbly at the thought of Regulus or William." I taunted in their direction Ava just turned red, she had the hugest crush on Regulus and honestly, I felt they'd be a good fit. They both get lost in conversation with each other in charms and nothing we do breaks them from this spell. They had curly dark brown hair, and although her eyes were brown, they were beautifully matched I'd say.

Rosaline loved William Zabini but, he felt she was too friendly with boys. What did he expect though, he never asked her out and only flirted with her, a woman is not obligated to anyone but herself.

Rosaline challenged my taunting though she came over to my bed though and pulled my hair loose from where it was being held back by a clip. "what about our dazzling Emery, who makes you giggle?" she poked my side teasingly. I jumped in response "no one has caught my eye just yet." I replied sadly, the truth was no one had caught my attention, sure, there was plenty of attractive guys in Slytherin just none held my attention.

Rosaline's voice took on a dark whisper "does someone perhaps wish for someone a little more… red and gold?" she asked mischievously

"Ha! No, I just haven't met anyone at all neither here or there." I couldn't conceal the blush that spread across my cheeks.

Ava screamed and came over to the bed "Who? Who is it!? " I shook my head, they mistook my blush for confirmation.

"no, I blushed because I wished there was someone that did hold my attention…" my voice was barely above a whisper.

They all just smiled at me in encouragement, Narcissa said brightly "Hey! You are one of the most beautiful girls in Slytherin. No, in Hogwarts, some would kill for your hourglass figure, your eyes, hair and fire. You are incredibly bold and that is beautiful. Practically all the boys in Slytherin want a chance to snog or hell even brush their hand against yours!" She had made her way over to my bed and sat with us three, Ava and Ros nodded in agreement with her.

I smiled at them and we all hugged, I often wondered if I was just broke. Maybe after my parents I just can't bring myself to love. What girl doesn't have crushes? I mean I had one a few years ago on Nik but, I realized after my parent's death that it was because of people like him my parents were dead.

Shaking myself from those thoughts, I changed the topic. "so, you guys will be there when we defeat Ravenclaw tomorrow correct?"

They all laughed in response "as if we're going to miss it!"

We all returned to our beds and settled in, I needed rest if I was going to beat Ravenclaw tomorrow.

"alright, I'm going to spare you all that dribble of a captain's speech Carrow is always giving us. Since he is currently late as hell right now, let me just say we are going to go out there and we're going to beat those Ravenclaws with the books they have shoved in their faces so often!" the team cheered and laughed at this, I had no idea where Carrow was but, I found Gregory Aldertre just in time to take his place, I hope he shows up. He's one of the best chasers I've ever seen and with me looking for the snitch I don't think I can direct the team.

"alright men let's go out there and win." I walked out leading my team onto the field. The announcer was Charles Weasley, he was a likeable guy.

" **And for Slytherin's captain we have Emery Dietrich filling in for Carrow who is MIA. Let's hope this will cos- not cost Slytherin"** he coughed in the mic to cover up his joke, we'll win we don't need Nott. I could hear him announcing our teammates we all waved in response, then he moved onto Ravenclaw.

I turned to the team "they think we're weak without Carrow, let's go show them Slytherin's need no one." We lined up the pitch.

I went out to shake his hand and the captain was Micah Bulstrode, an arsch if you ask me. the coach told us to shake hands and he wanted a clean game. I knew Micah was a self-entitled guy, I 've heard of him dating muggleborn girls convincing them to do things they don't want to do, then spreading rumors about them. He's been known to steal other Ravenclaw's papers and turn them in as his own, a real shit person.

Bulstrode marched up to me, looked me over from head to toe and asked sarcastically "you're the captain? You're a girl." He yelled back to his teammates about an easy win. He went out to shake my hand I looked at him as though he were a bug I might have stepped on, then I looked down at his hand and scrunched up my nose. I walked away from him without shaking his hand, I heard the crowd boo slightly at this and went to mount my broom.

" **Oh, come on that was a something! Coach you didn't catch Slytherin!?"**

I planned on being nice but Bulstrode pushed my instant hate button. I turned back to my team "no mercy" they all smiled in response.

The whistle blew, and I felt a rush of air and I was in the air. The bludgers were already flying in all different directions.

 **Slytherin has got the Quaffle! Nott is making his way towards the post and he made it… yay Slytherin."**

I yelled praise to Nott, a Bludger headed right towards me and Regulus smacked it right in time, he smiled at me "you're doing good." And he disappeared in the fray.

" **alright, black nice save for the captain, let's see and she's shouting out orders what could they be? Oh! Ravenclaw has the Quaffle Draces is heading up to the post and it's intercepted by William Zabini! Come on Ravenclaw we can- I mean you can do it."**

"Black! Lestrange! Spread out, they rely on you being together! Zabini cover Nott!"

So far so good, we were up by twenty-four all I had to do was keep an eye on the snitch. I scanned the area below me and above me avoiding Ravenclaws seeker. I thought I saw it by the Gryffindor section and sped over there. I looked all around them while they all just stared at me, dammit where is that sni- I was cutoff by the announcement and gasps from the crowds.

" **Black is down, I repeat he is going down!"**

I turned around and I saw a figure falling from the sky, no one was around to catch him.

"REGULUS!" I shouted and flew my broom in his direction I don't think I'll catch him. He was too close, but I kept my broom in his direction, we were a foot apart if I didn't pull up soon, I'd crash with him. I extended my hand felt his touch and pulled up at the last second. Cheers from the crowd told me I got him.

" **that was a bold move on Dietrich's part but, that was some great teammate ship!"**

I let him off on the ground, I went side to side with Lestrange. "what happened?" he smacked a bludger right at Draces "Bulstrode rode right next to him and Connor did too trapping Reg then Draces hit a bludger right at him they moved but, Regulus didn't in time." I nodded and moved away to go find the snitch.

I did a round around the stands, Slytherin cheering when I went by and some others cheering too. It seemed that move from Ravenclaw cost them some fans. It was when I was passing Gryffindor that something moved in the corner of my eye. I turned and saw it, the same time Ravenclaw saw it too, it wasn't above or below it was right behind Bulstrode. My smile was venomous, vengeance was meant to be, if it wasn't, he wouldn't be in my line of fire. I shot for it, and my team knew I saw it they were clearing a path for me.

" **Aaand it looks like Dietrich is out for blood, folks this isn't going to end well."**

I collided right with Bulstrode I felt white pain, as we collided but, received a satisfying crack from his body. I heard the crowd and announcer but, it made no sense to me the snitch was right in my grasp. Ravenclaw and I barely missed each other, and the crowd was silent.

I waved my hand in the air and cheers erupted, I flew to the ground and made a clear path to Regulus who was with the fellow Slytherin waiting. I shook his hand and he pulled me close "knew you had it in you." I handed him the hand with the snitch and we raised them together. Do not mess with my team, even more don't mess with my friends. My friends said they were going to go set up the party and ran ahead of everyone.

Everyone was cheering, and some familiar Gryffindor faces came up to me. A flash of red and Lily hugged me, "you did great!" it was only then I realized my shoulder was killing me. I probably broke something colliding with Bulstrode. Lily pulled away and a few others came to congratulate me, we made our way to the castle. Everyone was cheering and yelling in joy, I noticed Lily was almost alone, she had her girl friend's but, Potter wasn't following. He probably can't cheer for us because he's part of an opposing team.

As Lily and her friends waved goodbye and more congratulations, someone had slipped their hand into mine. I looked quickly to see who linked our hands, it was just Regulus.

"what are yo-"

he cut me off "wait with me please?" I looked at him and noticed he looked very nervous which was unlike him. I squeezed his hand in response, the crowd hardly noticed we weren't with them, there was plenty of teammates to go around. I was about to ask him what the deal was when Sirius black came out from behind a statue with his other friends behind. Sirius wasted no time in embracing Regulus, our hands fell apart and James I saw was looking between us. We all turned to give them a moment, of course Sirius would be concerned about Regulus. Despite their differences they were brothers. James cleared his throat as Peter just looked around nervously, "so, that was a clean match huh?"

I rolled my eyes "It was meant to be but, he doubted my capabilities because I'm a woman. It got even uglier when he knocked my best friend off his broom." James shook his head in agreement, I looked around for Remus but, he either left or he wasn't there to begin with. I frowned, James noticed this "looking for anyone in particular Dietrich?" he smiled wickedly.

"no." I said too quickly, truth was I'm not sure why it mattered. He didn't look convinced and continued to smile that arrogant smile. I shook my head at him and winced in pain, James took it upon himself to grab my shoulder. "it looks either bruised or broken, you should probably go see the nurse." I mumbled something in agreement

By this time Regulus and Sirius made their way over to us, Sirius for all his arrogance and swagger I realized deeply cared for Regulus. He gave me a hug and peck on the cheek thanking me for going after Regulus like I did. I smiled, and they headed for Gryffindor tower, Regulus and I made our way to the dungeons.

We walked most of the way in silence until Regulus spoke "Sirius says you should be captain." I looked at him in horror and grabbed my chest. "Sirius? Sirius Black paid me a… a Slytherin a compliment." He pushed me and we opened up the doors to the dungeon, it was a party in full swing.

I didn't celebrate, I didn't care for crowds to be honest, they exhausted me mentally. Of course, I had to thank my friends for the party and make a round around the room to gloat and accept their praise. However, I went over to Regulus who like myself didn't care for crowds but, he draped himself over one of the chairs in the common room and laid his head back. He didn't hide away like I did though he was okay as long as he wasn't in the middle of everything. Ava was sitting a one seat down and kept sneaking glances at him, I smiled and grabbed her arm on my way to Regulus.

She tried to protest but, I wasn't hearing it, plus my shoulder was killing me and I needed to have it looked at. "Reg could you keep Ava company for me, I think I messed up my shoulder during the match. I'm going to the nurse I'll be quick" he looked skeptical and opened his mouth to protest. I swooped in though "please it's too much, I need to breathe." He nodded his head and ava looked between us, jealousy forming. I hugged her "I told him I'm getting mentally tired don't worry."

The journey to the nurses was agony, it was as if with every step my arm grew heavier and the pain turned from a dull ache to white hot pain. The pain was too much, but I held back any tears it would be disgraceful if I couldn't take a little bump or bruise. Not a lot of girls make the Quidditch team and I can't afford to give them any reason to question my ability to take it. I had another stretch of hallway and an entire staircase to climb before I reached the infirmary. I find it highly convenient a majority of the classes and essentials were located in the upper levels more accessible to the other houses just not Slytherin.

I had reached the middle of the hall and I felt like I wasn't alone, I thought I had heard footsteps but, they fell silent as soon as I did. There was no one in the hallway when I lit up my wand, I pressed on but kept checking behind me to see if someone was there.

When I reached the infirmary, the nurse wasn't at her desk she was behind a curtain, there was quite a few people behind the curtain too. "do something Dumbledore!" some voice whispered urgently. I didn't notice before but, there was moans of pain coming from behind the curtain, I inched forward to see who was behind the it.

"I'm afraid we can only make Remus comfortable until this Thursday." Was Remus sick? The nurse came out from behind the curtain and jumped when she saw me. "Miss Dietrich! What are you doing here?" I grabbed my shoulder and ignored the glances of the headmaster and four young boys. "I think I broke or fractured my shoulder in the match. Dumbledore had whispered a few parting words for the friends and walked over to me.

Dumbledore and I hadn't spoken since my parent's death so, this was a surprise to me. "Miss Dietrich, I'm afraid I must ask of you to keep whatever you've heard to yourself tonight." I would never go and tell anyone's secrets, god knows I have so many. The nurse was waving her wand around my arm and I could feel joints moving, my head snapped back in pain. I coughed it back and put on a strong face "unfortunately, other than my misfortune of breaking a bone and my inability to tolerate pain, I haven't the faintest idea as to what you're talking about headmaster." His smile reached his eyes and he bid me goodnight, the nurse after an excruciating hour and a half told me I should stay the night.

I wasn't stupid I knew something was wrong with Remus and I knew the marauders were behind that curtain with him. So, I winced through the pain and kindly refused the offer. "thank you but, I think I'd feel better resting in my own bed." With that said I left and didn't look back. 


	4. Conduct

_Everyone has different codes of conduct_

 _Based on their values and experiences in life_

 _So, don't get surprised if you get an unexpected_

 _Treatment in spite of your pure virtues – Amol Gade_

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Potions was very boring today. I think Slughorn is unimpressed by us after last week when only one of us managed to create a draught of living death, of course it was Sev. He won liquid luck, the potion was outrageously difficult, and it felt as if the book authors had no idea at all how it was actually produced. Today we were learning simple medical potions you could brew and use at home in case of an emergency.

Ava didn't sit with me today, she sat with Regulus at the back of the class. When it came time to do the pair work, I lacked a partner. I was more than capable of doing the work on my own but, Slughorn has a guilty conscious. Severus kindly sat with me, we weren't best friends by any means but, after my parent's death I found that Severus had attempted to comfort me a few times and it was the small act of kindness that made me like him. We talked when he tutored me or when we ran into each other in the library other than that he was quiet.

Other than the occasional remark it went well, except Severus kept jumping in his seat. I finally couldn't take it any longer "what is your deal Sev?" he looked at me quickly and his eyes turned dark but, he kept on working on his potion. Class was almost over when a bean hit my head, I looked at Severus to see if he tossed it at me and then back at Ava, it could have been them trying to get my attention. Severus nudged my elbow and pointed behind him where the Marauders were sitting. I saw James smile in apology Sirius was bent over laughing peter was red and Remus looked apologetic. I turned back in my seat and ignored them however, Severus had something else in mind, he took an entire vial of bean juice and walked over to their table. Knowing what was coming I grabbed my bag just in time to hear an explosion and clear the room with my stuff like everyone else. I don't know why Gryffindors and Slytherins couldn't get along, class would be so much more peaceful then.

No one still had found my locket and I'm beginning to think it's gone for good. I closed my sketchbook and laid my head back against the tree. The sun was warming my face, that's what I loved the most about Hogwarts, it was beautiful outside. Plenty of trees and the lake helped as long as you stayed in the shallow parts… besides the outside was a perfect place to unwind and think.

As I sat there my mind began to wander to my Ava. Ava has been spending a lot of time with Regulus, it was my idea but, I know Reg can be fickle at times. I just hope he doesn't hurt her, she is so kind to everyone and is always willing to tutor others. She's like a mom in a sense, she always hands out advice and will stop and help you collect your books if you've dropped them.

I leaned back again and looked at the clouds, my peace of mind was interrupted when I heard people laughing and what sounded like a fight.

I wasn't the type to go and watch a fight that was stupid to me, I picked up my bag ready to go study when something in the air caught my attention. I dropped my bag and walked over to the crowd "stop" you could barely hear me, I felt like I might get sick "stop, stop it." I began to run "Stop!" Severus was dangling in the air and his body was twisting around. James had his wand pointed at Severus and everyone was laughing. I was choking on sobs, I couldn't breathe but, still I desperately pushed through the crowd. "stop! Stop it!" I had pushed Sirius and was pulling on James's robes like a child, tears were pouring down my face and my vision was so blurred. James hadn't looked at me, he asked the crowd who wanted to see Severus with his pants down. I felt like I might get sick, I was sobbing "please stop" and the crowd quieted almost realizing I was not okay.

A strong voice had cut through the crowd's voices "James that is enough!" James turned and looked in the direction of the voice, Remus's face was stone, this sobered James and he dropped Severus. James looked at me as if only realizing I was there, I felt so angry and I couldn't my throat closed on itself. "why would you do that?" realization dawned on him and he moved forward. I stepped back and ran into someone, I looked at everyone they were staring at me and I was bawling. I pushed my way through the crowd, I stumbled but kept running. I hated for anyone to see me cry and I wouldn't be pitied, my family wouldn't want me to be the poor little orphan pitied by everyone.

I was running out of breath and my lungs were on fire, I had to stop two times because I felt like I might throw up. And then I did, I was crying so much I emptied my stomach on the grass, I couldn't stop crying. I crawled to the edge of the forest and rubbed furiously at my eyes. I wrapped my arms around myself and cried, I cried every tear I ever held back, every shred of guilt, uselessness, anger, and hate. I hated the people who did that to my parents, I hated everyone who still had their parents, and I hated the fact I have no one left. I was alone, and I had no one to go home to, no one to care if I get an E in school, no one. The sun had gone down, it must have been an hour it was getting cold but, I wasn't done. My heart hurt, and I didn't want to see anyone they'd all know, rumors spread like madness. I didn't want sympathy and I didn't want to cry in front of anyone.

I pulled my knees to my chest and cried more, it felt so good to cry. My shoulders got heavier as I felt something put over them and then I felt someone sit next to me in the grass next to me.

Remus, he didn't say anything as he nestled next to me. I wasn't long before he broke the silence "do you want to talk about them?" he looked at me evenly, and calmly. No one really asked me that, everyone normally acted like it never happened, and he's acknowledging they did happen. I didn't know how to feel opening up to an almost stranger but, Remus was kind much like Ava and I knew he had something in his past too.

Perhaps that's why I chose to trust him. "My moms name was Alana and my father's name was Simon and they were the most wonderful people I ever met." I don't know how long Remus let me talk but, once I started talking, I told him about our Christmas traditions and every new years we'd cast fireworks all in the backyard. I told him about getting my wand and how my mom and dad taught me how to ride a broom and how excited I was when I found out I'd have a baby brother. I told him how my mother had taught me to cast a patronus and how much they loved me.

"you know Remus, I have no family left an aunt but, she only wants the money. She doesn't care about me truly, and she would actually be happier if I did die. My parent's land, money whatever else there is it would all be hers. What I'm getting at is when school is over, when I turn eighteen and I've left Hogwarts behind I will go home to my parent's house, their money, and their land but, that's nothing without them. Hogwarts will forget me my friends eventually will too, what's the point of living if no one remembers you?"

Remus had listened to me but, hadn't said anything to me yet. I was beginning to think I hadn't said any of those things out loud and maybe I had imagined it. He had his head up towards the moon and he was staring at it so intently as if it might answer to him. He spoke "often when things go wrong, we question our sense of self and our reason for being here. I often feel like my entire life has gone wrong and though I may not have lost as you have, I have still lost. There are many things I can never have and because of that I wonder what is the purpose of me being here if I cannot have such things? We may want certain things for ourselves in life and we may never get them but, we may still get everything we need."

His eyes had reached mine and though I can't explain it but, I felt a jerk inside my chest. It felt as though the paper airplanes we turned into hummingbirds were trying to escape my chest.

At some point we had found our way back to the entrance to Hogwarts, despite how much time I felt had passed it was only an hour before dinner which means I'd have to face everyone. I began to wall my emotions away and bring my strong face out. Remus had steered me in the opposite direction of the Great Hall though and instead led me to some corridor I didn't quite recognize. He walked us to a painting of a bowl of fruit, he then reached his hand out and tickled the pear in the bowl, it laughed and turned into a door knob. He twisted the knob and it swung open to reveal the largest kitchen I've ever seen. House elves were everywhere too! there was hundreds all walking around, I felt Remus put his hand in the small of my back and I walked forward.

Elves were everywhere preparing the food for dinner. I turned to tell Remus perhaps we should go when a house elf approached us.

"Mr. Lupin and mistress Dietrich." He bent his head as if we were regarding adults of a house. He addressed me how the house elves at home would regard my mother. He gestured for us to follow him to a table with only two chairs. Remus pulled mine out for me and I whispered a thanks in response. The house elf left us with a promise to return.

I turned to Remus who blushed slightly in response. "so, this is what you guys do at night?" he stared at the table and looked everywhere but at me. "yeah, you could say this is what we do…" Remus was quiet and almost bashful, I believed him to be the mature and smart one of the group. I knew James and Sirius were intelligent but, Remus was book smart. Remus wasn't only book smart though, he was mature for his age. I don't know what happened to him but, I know something happened to him that made him have to grow up. I can recognize it and earlier he had said he lost the ability to have certain things, what could he have lost? What could poor Remus possibly never have?

The house elf had returned with our favorites? He brought me a French dip sandwich with fries and a glass of sparkling apple cider. He brought Remus a steak that was very underdone with mashed potatoes. I knew we were enjoying our meal but, I couldn't help but ask him. "Remus?" he put his fork down and wiped his mouth, "yes Emery?" I don't know why but I was nervous to ask. "Remus, can I have a drink of your pumpkin juice?" he smiled kindly and nudged his goblet in my direction "I won't pressure you to ask your real question, I will tell you I would never judge you and if you find the question too personal I will let you know I am uncomfortable to answer."

I smiled at him, he wasn't complicated, and he knew people. "I think it's not my place but, I will say thank you for showing me such kindness I schätzen- I mean I appreciate it." His eyes had turned darker and he blushed slightly. Clearing his throat "I wanted to Emery."

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Hello! Your author here I will not post another chapter until I get at least one review. I know it's asking a lot but, I want to improve and know what you guys think so, please review or follow. I can't improve the quality of my work without feedback and without a beta I can't improve either. Until next time thank you all!


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